cornergasfandomcom-20200213-history
Shirt Disturber/Transcript
Lacey Burrows: Hey, I thought I'd donate some of my clothes. It's quality stuff, so... Helen Jensen: Well, old or new, we appreciate any donations. Oh... Lacey: Oh, wait. I'd actually like to keep that. Helen: Oh, sure, sure. Oh, yes. Lacey: You know what? That actually compliments the shirt so I'll take that back too. Actually, is there somewhere where I could just try this stuff on? OK, I like this combination. I'm gonna keep these as well. The rest I'm donating. Helen: So, you're donating the bag? You took everything back. It's OK if you want to keep them. Lacey: No, no, I came here to donate some clothes and that's what I'm gonna do. And the jeans. Helen: Are you sure? Lacey: Yes. Could I please have five minutes alone with my jeans? Davis Quinton: Officer Second Class. I got mine when I was 35. Karen Pelly: I just turned 30. Davis: Whatever. I'm just saying I don't make a big deal out of it. Girl: Officer Second Class? Davis: Actually, that's spotlight's a little off. Karen: I worked really hard on the course. I think it's nice. Davis: Whatever you say, Rookie. Karen: And you can't call me rookie anymore. Davis: Fine, Senior Rookie. Wanda Dollard: Look at all the geeks at this comic book signing. It's like "Nerdapolooza." Brent Leroy: I don't think they're all geeks. I mean, Peter Moore's a pretty respected comic book artist. Wanda: Ah, come on. They're all middle-aged guys with glasses and no wives and no girlfriends and you're going, aren't you? Brent: Yeah, he's coming to Regina this Saturday and I'm taking this copy of Dr. Spike and the Doomsday Five. It's the first edition of a limited run. Very rare 'cause of the misaligned registration marks. That came across a little nerdy. Wanda: A little? It's like I was hit with a "nerdal" wave. And let me guess. You're taking Yarbo the wonder putz. Brent: No, don't tell Hank. He's always really embarrassing at these things. Hank Yarbo: Hey. Ah, cool. Vintage Dr. Spike. Wanda: Hey Brent, why don't you tell Hank about some of your weekend plans? Brent: Oh, well I'm going to the City for an eye appointment and Wanda has Monday off. Wanda: Ha, ha, ha. Lacey: Davis just said that Karen just made Senior Rookie and I thought it would be great if I got her something. Maybe we could go in on a gift together. Wanda: Your group gifts suck. Lacey: No, they don't. People love my group gifts. Emma Leroy: Who's this from again? Lacey: All of us. It's a group gift. Wanda: At any rate, I already got her a gift. My gift, one that you can't get in on, that's just from me. Lacey: Fine, your loss. Hey guys, wanna go in on a group gift with... Josh and Fitzy Fitzgerald: No. Davis: Good day sir, hello ma'am. How safe do you feel in your neighbourhood? Emma: I'd feel safer if we had a police department. Davis: Oh, Home Guard has partnered with local police forces to offer you not only an alarm but peace of mind. "Smile assuringly." Oscar Leroy: Pfft! Davis: "You should now be inside the customer's home." I'm sorry, can I start this over again? Hank: Hey, you'll never guess who's coming to Regina to sign his latest comic book. Peter Moore! We have to go. Brent: Hey, wow. How'd you find out about that? Hank: It was weird. I got this anonymous phone call. Hank (phone): Hello. Wanda (phone): Hello... Hank (phone): Wanda? Wanda (phone): Oh, ah...this is an anonymous phone call letting you know that Roger Moore, the comic book reader... Hank (phone): You mean Peter? Wanda (phone): Yes, Roger Peterson. Hank (phone): Peter Moore. Wanda (phone): The comic book guy. He's coming to Regina this weekend. Brent: Well, too bad I can't go because of my eye appointment. Hank: I know you don't have an eye appointment, I figured that much out. Wanda (phone): Also, Brent was lying about the eye appointment. Wanda: Ha, ha. The hanky trick works great. Brent: I thought you wanted Monday off? Wanda: I'll just call in sick. Have fun in the City. Hank: Why'd you lie to me? Brent: I don't know. I guess I figured it was the best way to keep you from coming with me. I mean, no offence but you're a bit of a boob in these sort of situations. Hank: No, that's fair. So, are we taking your car or my truck? That way we can save on gas. Brent: You never pay me for gas. Hank: That's how I save on gas. Oscar: Oh! Davis: Good morning. Coffee? Emma: What are you doing here? Davis: I'm here to prove a point. This could've been a burglar bringing you coffee. Home Guard alarm systems offer you security and affordability. Oscar: If we buy one of these stupid alarms off you, will you get out of our bedroom? Davis: Yes. Emma: Fine, we'll buy one. Davis: All right! You guys still want the eggs? Karen: Aw, thanks Josh! Josh: It's from me and Fitzy. Fitzy: Group gift. Group hug? Karen: No. Lacey: Open my gift next, it's that one. It's an individual gift, I bought it myself. Karen: Oh... Lacey: It's a teapot. Karen: Uh-huh. Wanda: Now open mine. Karen: Oh wow, I love it. Thanks Wanda. Wanda: When I saw it I thought that sweater's so Karen. Lacey: That's mine. Karen: You got in on two gifts? Wanda: No, it's just from me. Hank: I can't believe we're going to see Peter Moore. Do you think he'll like my impression of Dr. Spike? Hew, hew, hew, hew. Brent: See, this is exactly the type of stuff I don't want you doing in front of Peter Moore. Hank: Yeah, I guess it's more like "zooz, zooz, zooz, zoo." Brent: OK, we're gonna have some ground rules. No impressions, no comments, no questions. In fact, no talking, just wave to him. Show me how you're going to wave. You know what, no waving. Davis: The number code activates the motion detector and then you have 30 seconds to get out of the house. See, easy as pie. Got it? Oscar: Got it. Davis: Good. Now, you give it a try. Emma: That is easy. Category:Transcripts